Yeah, see, you’ve even got the killing wrong, you’re trying to make out I just went out and blatantly killed somebody. No! Nobody went through hell. Enjoyment turned to disaster, that’s what happened in all of it. Well, most of it anyway.
Rose rung me at work, in the middle of the day, and said the police were digging the garden up, come home quick. So anyway, I got home. Anyways, Hazel Savage come, and I went down to the police station. I mean, I had nothing to bloody hide.
When I walked in here, and I sat down there, I could feel my head lifting up, and I was going sort of into space, and I could see diggers and everything all plowing around, and ripping the house up, and tearing the floorboards up, and bulldozing the house down, and all weird. I could see it all my mind, and everything was gone wrong. I mean, I’ve been trying to explain then how I was feeling, and what happened. I don’t know if it was the pills, I mean, that’s the only thing I can think it was. Again, I hadn’t done nothing else.
I looked straight across and I could see her. I think she’s in a plastic bag, I think. You can actually see it in the corner. So, there’s a big hollowing behind it. If you look underneath the step, you can see straight underneath it. There’s a big hole.
I can undo three-quarter nuts without a spanner. Just lock them out and turn them out and undo them. I mean, I’ve been squeezed around the neck [inaudible 00:01:34]. I mean I haven’t gone that quick. It’s surprising how long someone can hold you around the neck before you really have to do something, I suppose.
I look around everywhere trying to find a knife or something. I mean, I looked at the ax, a chop ax, chopper. I mean, there was no way I could touch it, touch her with it. [inaudible 00:01:58] or with anything like that. I just couldn’t, I just couldn’t do it. So, I looked up and I see this knife sticking out. It got like two prongs on the end, two sharp points come out on the end of them, and then they got big, serrated edges all along it. You could saw blocks of ice with, and I got that and I tried it with the big ones first. It was terrible, mate. I’m sweating. Just everything that’s going on this time.
So, I finally manage to do it, to take her head off and then her legs. That was unbearable. I can hear that now in my sleep. I wake up very often screaming. I can hear that echoing.
That’s easy, ain’t it. She’s looking at me, I thought no. It’s simple, isn’t it. If somebody sat there looking at you, you’re not going to use a knife on a person, are you. And I just went like that, and I closed her eyes, and they stayed shut. And that was that.
Where is this gonna end? By this time I am realizing that that is three … Two, sorry, that’s two, not three. That was Shirley and [inaudible 00:03:15]. Where is this gonna stop? I’ve got to stop. I’ve got to give myself up. I’ve got to tell Rose so she can get somebody to help me. So, I don’t do this thing again. Because the problem I’ve got, and I know it’s a problem, and I knew I should have got help with it.
Now wait a minute, this is where we got a hell of a problem, we got to get it all out, sorted out, because I have mixed it up deliberately for the police.
She said … I said, “‘Cause there’s piss-all out there. What you worried about?” And then she said, “Oh yeah, there is.” And I can remember taking a breath and swallowing it. I said, “What the flaming hell do you mean?” She said, “Heather’s out there.” Well, I mean, I just fucking died for a minute. I had to sit down. I got a fag and I was trying to light it, and god knows what. So, I thought, I said, “What do you mean Heather’s out there?” She said, “Yeah, Heather’s buried out there.” So I said, “Where?” She said, “At the end of the fence where the fence used to go across.” So I said, “Ah, fucking hell.”
It seemed as though my whole life stopped there. Finished. I couldn’t think of nothing. I mean, Heather, I thought the bloody world of Heather. So, anyway, I got to grips with it after awhile. And the first thing that come into my mind was, “I’m gonna have to take this and sort it out,” which I did. All the messes Rose got herself into, I took the fucking rap for them and helped them out of it.
So, anyway, I said, “You’ll have to tell me exactly what happened.” She said that Heather was cut up. Well, I never felt so ill in all my life, for a few seconds, a few minutes, before I could get a grip of myself again. And I said, “What on Earth did you cut her up for?” She said, “She wouldn’t fit in the dustbin.” Now the thing that makes it hard, that she cut Heather up and chucked her in a fucking dustbin. Our daughter in a dustbin.
She said, “What about Lynda Gough?” I said, “You bitch,” because I’d already … Whenever she said that, I realized, I thought, “Fuck me. She’d killed her and had her fucking clothes on. She’s wearing the girl’s shoes, and she’d killed her for fucks sake.” And her dressing gown. I mean, how fucking far can you go. I said, “You wore her fucking clothes after you killed her.” She said, “I washed it.” I said, “Fucking hell. What are you…”
I am working out what I’m going to tell the police, how I’m gonna handle it. One body, fully clothed. Or I thought, in the first place, but by now I know it’s cut up. So, I’d have to maybe think at why the bloody hell could I cut her up. I mean, what reason for that that I cut this girl up? And so I said, “Well, at least it’s only one.” I said … I mean, you could accidentally kill one, but you wouldn’t get away with accidentally killing two, like sort of thing. That’s the thought that was going through my mind like.
So, I said, “Well, is that it?” “Oh no,” she said, “I don’t know. There’s seven or eight or nine or something like that.” So anyway, and Rose told me where the ones in the basement were. I said to Rose, I said, “Well, fuck me. You haven’t done bad, have you?” I said, That’s fucking … You’ve got a fucking enough here, ain’t here?”